Obviously, marriage is amazing. It is so amazing to know that no matter what is said or done, that someone is going to be by your side for the rest of your life. I will never go through a difficult time on my own, unless I isolate myself. I can always count on Gus to be my friend, unless I decide I am not going to listen to his advise. Obviously the blessings are there, but the what-if's are still there as well. What I found to be interesting about marriage is the fact that we really do choose our behavior, and that is what creates the what-if's. We choose how we act, how things affect us, and how we feel. I have noticed in my life that no one "makes me feel" a certain way, I choose how I am going to be affected by words and actions. This is burdening at times. To be constantly bare and vulnerable, and to let someone in that deeply to my soul, is so wonderful, but some days can be very difficult. I have noticed how my relationship with Gus completely mirrors my relationship with God. If I am not counting my blessings daily, I can very easily decide God doesn't have his best interest at heart for me. The same goes for my marriage. Even though I have committed my life to loving and serving Gus, I can still have days were I don't look at marriage as the gift it is. It's exactly like our relationship with the Lord. I have been blessed with being a part of three amazing churches in my life. My newest church is very much like the church I grew up in. My pastor is a very good man who has a wonderful family and is from a wonderful family. I used to view this church (while I was in the midst of changing), not as a blessing. It was an obstacle, it was not good enough, and it was exhausting. My attitude caused a lot of problems in my relationship with God, Gus, and my friends. I tell you this because when we choose to commit our lives to something or someone, things change. This change brings a whole lot of new blessings that we won't see the good in for a time, because change is hard.
However change brings along growth, refinement, and wonderful things.
My pastor recently advised to keep a journal of thankfulness, and write down ten things we are thankful for at the end of every day. I have noticed a change in my heart and mind as a result of this. I would like to encourage you in the midst of whatever type of relationship status you see yourself at, to reach for the joy that can be your strength. Find the cutest journal in America and choose to make it your blessings journal. Every day take some time by yourself to sit down and think of what things in your life have truly made you a better person. Are you thankful for them? Is the joy you find in these things, displayed to those around you daily?
What can you choose to be thankful for, that you normally don't view as a blessing?
Photo by Zach Mathers
One thing I have found myself being thankful for, is the tough talks I have with my best friend, Gus.
He is helping me become a better person, which I desperately need.