Something Good for Something Better

I absolutely LOVE Easter.

I grew up in the church, and Easter never fully "hit" me till my sophomore year in college, when I started going to Resonate and we did a big Lent devotional, fasted the weekend of Easter, and had a Good Friday "experience". 

It wrecked me forever (in a good way). 

I wasn't really thinking about giving up anything for Lent, until my good friend Amy reminded me what it was all about.

Giving up something good, for something better. 

Lately inspiration has been coming a bit slower than a desire to be either someone I am not, or somewhere in life I have not yet reached. I don't know at what point I let comparison steal all my inspiration and replace it with resentment, but it has happened, and something must be done.

I was thinking about everything that I say inspires me. 

Blogs

Pinterest

Really really GOOD photography

Artists 

Cool graphic design

A really good album/record

Awesome makeup

Fashion magazines 

Fashion designers

Runway shows 

A great outfit 

Cool nails

A beautiful wedding 

Unexpected pops of color

I realized as I wrote this list out in my head, that the Lord wasn't on the list. Sure, some people are inspired to do the things on the list because of the Lord. He doesn't set up parties, plan weddings, design graphics, come up with great crafts, or have an antique store. He did however set up the party known as life, orchestrate the greatest love story (And soon to be wedding) ever told, design the beautiful graphics known as gifts and talents given to everyone on the planet, and come up with some fantastic ways to enjoy the life He has given us. It made me really sad to admit that I have never actually been inspired by "God" Himself. I think taking a break from the worldly inspirations around me daily might help a bit with that. Till then, here are some really amazing "new" tunes that have been affecting me. 

This band regardless of the weird name, made my jaw drop. I don't know how I never thought of taking my violin to this level, but the idea of an electric viola somehow being manipulated by a laptop was a really good idea. Oh and replacing a guitar with a banjo was also a really good idea. 

Something about this song, just makes me think about those angels with all the eyes and wings that are described in Revelations that are super creepy but mighty and amazing at the same time. 

Have you let your inspirations go to the wayside because you wished you had someone else's? 

I know it has been so long since I have posted. It has been a crazy few months with the holiday season, starting school back up again, and making some big life decisions. It has been a weird winter season for me. I read an amazing book this past winter called Love Does by Bob Goff. It is a sort of memoir and collection of short stories all rolled into one. Bob Goff is an amazing man who pursued the Lords plan for his life, despite peoples opinions. He taught himself to block negative comments, the word no from peoples mouths, and the lies that can come into our minds abut who we are as a result of failing or being rejected. I love this about him, because there is a verse in Proverbs that talks about not looking to the right or the left, but keeping our eyes forward and focused. Reading Love Does was a serious landmark for me. It is one of the most encouraging and affirming books I have ever read in my life. As a creator, dreamer, and musician it has been a crazy journey balancing my talents and God's calling vs. peoples perception of my calling and opinions about where I should go/what i should be doing. Some of the things I listened to from people where true, and I did a good job about listening to what they had to say. There were however parts of my life where peoples opinions should not have been said like they were, and I have been devastated, confused, and unsure about who I am, since. The stories Bob Goff writes about were all parts of his life that were landmarks. Those Landmarks were beautiful, because he knew no ones words except the Lords, mattered. He didn't care if a test told him he couldn't be a lawyer, he knew it was what God called him to. So Bob sat in front of the dean of a law school's office until the dean told him to buy his books. Bob knew the woman he was going to marry the moment he first laid eyes on her, and he didn't give up on her until she said yes. Accepting our callings and who we are going to live life with, are huge! I realized as I read this I haven't really been told by the Lord what I will be doing in life as clearly as I might have thought, and hearing from Him takes patience and time. It can be really discouraging for someone who is creative naturally to have a lack of inspiration for a long period of time. Sometimes however, a lack of inspiration is just God saying, time to keep moving forward. As much as I love creating, I have closed my Etsy shop for the time being to spend some time focusing on moving foward. It will hopefully be opening back up again in April or May. I also need to be focusing on what I am good at and keep getting better. Practice makes perfect right? Blogging will be happening a lot more, and I am making it a priority to at least have one post up a week that is inspiring, and one that includes a new tune, of course. Anyways, if you love a good book and need some encouragement and inspiration, I suggest grabbing a copy of  Love Does. You won't regret it!

Lately I have not been myself. 

I have been working on a lot of things mentally and emotionally;

Like being a more positive person inwardly, using my time with purpose, and patience.

None of these things come easily to me, and it's been hard to find encouragement. 

Of course encouragement has come through friends & family, the Bible, and my husband.

Tonight it came through a song, in a very odd way. Mumford & Sons recently came out with their new album, Babel.It has been on repeat most days, but today I was focusing on the lyrics.

I was listening to the song Hopeless Wanderer, thinking about how the words relate to my life.

I haven't really felt like I have had much purpose lately. Plans that I thought were set in stone

 have been changing so suddenly that I don't feel like I can really plan for anything, or share 

anything to anyone about my life. Basically, I have felt like a hopeless wanderer. 

 This feeling however, is not what is true about me. 

I might not have an amazing opportunity right in front of me, a set in stone 5 year plan, or

even a daily schedule I can rely on to be consistent; but there are some things that are certain.

I have an amazing marriage that gives me so much faith in the grace of the Lord I can't 

even explain how I feel about it. Even though I still feel like I am in the shallow end,I have been getting involved withmy super amazing new church, which has been a blessing.

My new job has given me more new friends and the best work environment I have had in 

a very long time. The Lord is answering prayers for more friendships.
He also continues to provide for my husband and I, most of the time beyond what we even hope for. 

I have been writing down 10 things I am thankful for every day since August, 

and have had 10 or more each day, no matter what has been going on.

This is not the life of a hopeless wanderer. 

Thanks for letting me share and for reading! 

Enjoy the music of my favorites. 

One Year

Exactly 1 year ago from the 17th I tied the knot with my husband! I am so surprised how fast it went and how much growth happens in just a year. I am so grossly in love, its amazing to think we have 

so many years ahead of us and so many wonderful adventures in store. 

I posted the acoustic version of this beautiful song because our entire bridal party walked down the isle to it! Every time I hear the song I relive the day. How I wish I could do it all over again! 

We will be going to the Oregon Coast and I am oh so excited.

Style and fall post coming up! XO

A Quarter of a Century

Last Sunday I turned a Quarter of a Century.
I basically celebrated all week, with lots of ice cream, mail, and of course, the tattoo.
One thing I did not expect was a quarter of a century surprise party that was appropriately roaring twenties themed.
This is just a sneak peak (gotta edit the photos), but I couldn't help myself.

{I cannot wait to make this one of the men black and white!!}

He is such a keeper. I love him. 

Thanks to all who were involved! I am so blessed by such amazing friends. Love you all! 

Old & New

Random fact about me, I am a musician and I may have went to music school.  

If you asked me five years ago where I would be now, I would have told you something completely different from what is actually happening. I probably would have been doing something musical for a living. Right now, I don't know how musical I will be anymore. Music school kinda took it all out of me. However, I do know it gave me a very valuable skill; how to let the creative juices flow in a short amount of time. 

As you know I am a growing Etsy shop owner, and it has been less than easy. It came really difficult for me, and as I learn how to be an entrepreneur and not be my generous "sure I will give you this garland i spent 20 hours making for five dollars and free shipping cause I love you" self, I am learning that in a lot of ways I need to grow up.

I'm not always the best at not procrastinating and not getting burnt out quickly. I am however, good at what I am in the process of doing; pursuing my dream job. Whether it's a full time even planner or not, I know that deep down I really am having a blast making things. You know you are when you wake up at 530 texting friends about their wedding decor you are making for them. 

All in all, as I build up this blog, this business, this new life, I get to learn all these new things. I used to be kinda freaked out I would fail, but it's not going to happen. I know it. Some doors close for me while windows open for others. Everyone gets to enjoy the new and better things in life God has for them, and thats awesome. 

Committed Desires Part 2: Experiencing the Blessings?

Obviously, marriage is amazing. It is so amazing to know that no matter what is said or done, that someone is going to be by your side for the rest of your life. I will never go through a difficult time on my own, unless I isolate myself. I can always count on Gus to be my friend, unless I decide I am not going to listen to his advise. Obviously the blessings are there, but the what-if's are still there as well. What I found to be interesting about marriage is the fact that we really do choose our behavior, and that is what creates the what-if's. We choose how we act, how things affect us, and how we feel. I have noticed in my life that no one "makes me feel" a certain way, I choose how I am going to be affected by words and actions. This is burdening at times. To be constantly bare and vulnerable, and to let someone in that deeply to my soul, is so wonderful, but some days can be very difficult. I have noticed how my relationship with Gus completely mirrors my relationship with God. If I am not counting my blessings daily, I can very easily decide God doesn't have his best interest at heart for me. The same goes for my marriage. Even though I have committed my life to loving and serving Gus, I can still have days were I don't look at marriage as the gift it is. It's exactly like our relationship with the Lord. I have been blessed with being a part of three amazing churches in my life. My newest church is very much like the church I grew up in. My pastor is a very good man who has a wonderful family and is from a wonderful family. I used to view this church (while I was in the midst of changing), not as a blessing. It was an obstacle, it was not good enough, and it was exhausting. My attitude caused a lot of problems in my relationship with God, Gus, and my friends. I tell you this because when we choose to commit our lives to something or someone, things change. This change brings a whole lot of new blessings that we won't see the good in for a time, because change is hard. 

However change brings along growth, refinement, and wonderful things. 

My pastor recently advised to keep a journal of thankfulness, and write down ten things we are thankful for at the end of every day. I have noticed a change in my heart and mind as a result of this. I would like to encourage you in the midst of whatever type of relationship status you see yourself at, to reach for the joy that can be your strength. Find the cutest journal in America and choose to make it your blessings journal. Every day take some time by yourself to sit down and think of what things in your life have truly made you a better person. Are you thankful for them? Is the joy you find in these things, displayed to those around you daily? 

What can you choose to be thankful for, that you normally don't view as a blessing? 

Photo by Zach Mathers

One thing I have found myself being thankful for, is the tough talks I have with my best friend, Gus. 

He is helping me become a better person, which I desperately need. 

Committed Desires Part 1: The newlywed life that was never expected

I have been thinking about starting a posting series on being a newlywed. I wasn't going to do it, but I was recently encouraged by a blogger that I have followed for a while to dive in, so I am. I think before I start talking about my life with Gus, I think it is important to share who I was before him.

I honestly don't remember what it felt like to be single, but I do know that I don't regret any of the time I spent single. I grew up in the church. I was always taught that there is an order to life. You graduate high school, date around, go to college, date around, then finally get married after graduating, and have babies. I however, skipped the dating part of that order. It's not that my parents didn't allow me to date, I just didn't have anyone around me really worth dating. I decided very early on (I think I was 12 or 13), that I was only going to date one person and get married. I wasn't going to put myself out there. I am a very passionate, all-or-nothing, type of person. When I go after something, I put my all into it. I knew myself, and I knew I could ruin myself in the dating scene, so I didn't date. 

It was not easy, ever.

There were several insecurities, fears, doubts, etc. that were constantly pulling me in opposite directions. However, being single taught me that relationships were a gift, not just something that happen to those who are attractive enough to find someone just as attractive as them. I held on to dear life to the verse that says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart. Commit your ways to Him and He will do this." (Psalm 37:4, NIV)

It was the only thing I have ever really trusted God about whole heartedly. He definitely pulled through (as you know), and Gus was incredibly unexpected. When I met him I had gone through a whirlwind of trials at music school, and was doubting myself and my life. I was ready to pack my bags and go on a mission trip for the rest of my life (not kidding or exaggerating). I wanted the abundant life, even if it meant never getting married. At the time I met Gus I had no idea we would date. I just knew I thought he was the most attractive guy I had ever met, and totally out of my league. 

A year and a half later we got married, which was awesome. I definitely did not date or get engaged the way I told everyone that I would, or the way I ever believed I would. I set my standards, expectations, and morals high, only to let them control me to the point that I am still crashing and burning daily.

Everyone will tell you to set your standards, goals, expectations and morals super high. Be above reproach, only settle for what is the best, etc. etc. I say that this is true and great, but only to a degree. I believe there is a healthy level of expectation, but you need to be expecting God will give you what He sees is best, not what you view as the best. Marriage is not about any type of fulfillment, it is about displaying the covenant Christ made for us. If you have set your standards and expectations in a high high place, they may be out of reach. Are you putting people in a box, not letting the Lord teach you things because you aren't meeting anyone perfect enough for you? Are you constantly fighting with him/her that you are in a relationship with, because he is not doing or saying what you see him doing and saying in your head? I would encourage you to commit those expectations to the Lord, instead of let them rip apart your life. I believe that although it was awesome for me to not date, I set my expectations way too high, because I believed I deserved a picture perfect life. Not that my life being married is not amazing, it just isn't always happy and pretty and filled with roses and chocolates. I want to share about newlywed life because I don't think the truth is being shared enough (in context of the grace of Jesus Christ), and I think setting expectations too high going into marriages is one of the main reasons marriages are failing so quickly in America. Praise the Lord that we have Him, and Gus and I don't ever need to worry about our marriage ever failing. I am very thankful for the gift of marriage Christ as given me. I hope you all feel blessed in your life, and stay tuned for more in this series. 

Iphoneography: life update

It has been an absolutely insane past few weeks. Nothing but crafting, working, school, and catching up with people! It has been nuts in a good way, and I am sad to see it over.I am excited for is my blog makeover that is coming soon, an office makeover, my first set of outfit posts, lots of playlists for summer, and some up and coming DIY projects! I am also finally prepped and ready to start my blog series on being a newlywed. Before I got married I felt like there were so many people not sharing enough about marriage and what it is really like. I was recently encouraged to start discussing more about my life as a newlywed (and if you are getting married) and all the things I have the blessing to learn and grow in. It is amazing how much love changes lives! 

I am also really excited about my friend Alaina's lifestyle blog Bows and Tails, where she is sharing her journey becoming a mommy! She has great style and I am excited to see her posts, DIY projects for her new place, and the development of her nursery! It is really cute so make sure you check it out, especially if you are a new mommy!

Be sure to stop by often! As June starts to end I will be come less busy (which means more time to blog) and also have huge changes still in the works! You will see my advertisements popping up in lots of places, a blog face lift, special series on beginner gardening and sewing, outfit posts and new products in the shop! It is going to be an exciting summer! Very very excited!

Under Construction

It has been feeling lately like my whole life is under construction!

Getting ready to find a new place and move, looking for a new job (again),

doing a complete blog and Etsy shop makeover, getting an awesome opportunity

to work on product development for the wedding chicks bride and baby shop 

(check out my first design idea HERE!), 

and entering a new phase in life where my friends are either getting married or having babies. 

Growing up can be so crazy! 

So please excuse the blog construction and shop construction 

as I learn how to balance everything while taking my online self to the next level! 

I am very excited for what this yearis going to bring. 

In other news, my heart garlands were featured on the lovely art blog by Miriam Schulman!

She paints beautiful paintings which I think you should check out here!

Off to finish an Etsy order and work on this bad boy.

Blessings

At 

Saturday Nothing

When I was a sophomore in college, I had a few things happen that 

dramatically changed my entire view of God and life.

I felt there were very few things in my life that were stable and that I could count on.

One of those very few things, was a church I started going to with a few very good friends of mine.

I quickly fell in love with this church, called Resonate, at first due to the music (of course). 

Living in a small town going to a college that was known for being crazy, 

I naturally clung to anything that brought me to functional community and new friends.

One of those things was the weekly Bible study Resonate had, called Village.

When I didn't feel like going to church during my sophomore year,

(which was every Sunday) I went to village. 

My leaders were this couple who were dating at the time,

named Josh and Amy. Amy was pretty, nice, and well dressed.

Josh was the worship pastor, so obviously I already thought he was awesome

cause he sang on Sundays. 

I don't think I have ever had 2 people speak more truth into my life (besides my parents),

as much as Josh and Amy have. A year after I started going to village they got married. 

They are an amazing couple and amazing people.

To list every conversation, every talk over coffee, every laugh and every tear,

would take probably years.

So I will just describe to you some of the things that have made them awesome.

Josh has the wisdom of a 70 year old. It's kind of weird, but awesome.

His wisdom (along with that of his wife's)has changed my life. 

One time I was thinking about moving to Virginia and going to a giant Christian school.

I wanted to be a Rock Star, and I told Josh when I was on a spring break trip in Tijuana 

that I was moving. He sat me down and told me about his life. He told me I would never

have the same community, experiences, or growth in Jesus as I could have in little Pullman Washington, in Virginia.  He told me nothing would ever be the same again if I moved, 

and that I would find some reason to move back.  

He told me moving across the country wouldn't change the issues I had

 in my life and in my heart about school. He told me not to leave,

 just cause I was discontent with my life at the moment. I cried. 

I was kinda pissed, but I knew he was right, so I didn't move. 

Instead I kept going to their village, got really involved in the church,

met with Amy on a weekly basis, and decided that I would find joy in my trials. 

A year later still kinda disliking school, I met my husband. Imagined if moved. I might

have never met my husband. I would be completely different. 

That was just one conversation of many with him and his wife, that have changed me.

Josh was the officiant at my wedding, and his words changed my life at my wedding. 

I am happy to say that the words of Josh are about to change many many more peoples lives. 

More than he or anyone else probably ever imagined.

A few years ago at Village, Amy told me Josh was going to write a book.

He was going to title it this phrase he loved, "Saturday Nothing".

Amy told me to tell Josh that I was planning on starting a band called "Saturday Nothing," as a joke.

The prank was pretty funny to Amy and I, just cause of Josh's reaction.

I don't know if it was to Josh, cause you would think by looking 

at his face that I smashed his nicest guitar. 

I tell you that story because that's how intensely devoted Josh has been to writing his book.

His book and his idea behind his book is important to him, 

because it's his story (which is part of God's big story) he will be sharing. 

How often do we actually follow through with the BIG things God is calling us to do?

How often do we work our lives away, actually believing God is going to use us to change the world?

I admire Josh for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons is because he is choosing to do 

the big things and the hard things God has called him to, and working as hard as he can

to make them actually happen. I rarely feel super certain about a lot of things
But when I first read parts of Josh's book about a year or two ago, I got this weird feeling.
It was one of the most certain feelings I have ever had. I had this feeling
that God was telling me as I read Josh's book that
this is what it looks like to follow and believe in Christ. 
I felt really confident that God was going to use Josh's story, to move other peoples
stories to glorify Jesus.
 So after helping start a church, writing a lot of songs,

releasing an album and an EP, and becoming an amazing lifestyle photographer,
 Josh has decided to release his book.

One slight problem is that Josh needs help publishing his book. 

Click here to read a part of his book and see if you like it. If you do, you should

donate to his book so he can publish it. 

I wouldn't post this on my blog if i didn't think it was the most awesome thing ever.

And I am pretty sure it is going to be the most awesome book ever.

~Much Love, At~

My husband is pretty cool.

While we were taking pictures of product for my shop this morning,

Gus took a picture and made a print out of it with some wonderful Bon Iver lyrics

from is song Hinnom, TX.

Its amazing what you can do with a beautiful picture.
I am hoping he makes more of these so we can share them via the Etsy shop!
How awesome would that be?

What a great morning!

So not only is today one of my besties birthdays, 

but my wedding was featured on Ruffled Blog today! 

I am so honored!

Not only because so much inspiration for my wedding came from that blog,

but because it is filled with some amazing DIY weddings. 

You can check my wedding out here! 

If you love the photos, make sure to check my favorite,

Tonhya Kae Photography! 

I will be out of town for the weekend, but will be blogging more next week!

Love At

The New Beginnings that come with Marriage

In September of 2011 I got married, and it was the beginning of a whole new life for me!

When I got engaged, my husband turned me on to wedding blogs. I became hooked on the idea

of hand making decorations for my wedding. I was lucky enough that my Grandma was moving

out of her big old house and I received a ton of music paper. 

Since my husband and I are musicians, I decided to make everything out of vintage music paper.

It was so much fun, and the crafts I made were so loved by people,

 that I decided to continue making things and sell them on Etsy.

I am very excited to share my journey as a crafter, as well as have a few DIY 

articles throughout the months to come. 

I am also excited for my wedding photographer Tonhya Kae to be showing my pictures!

She is an amazing photographer based out of Seattle, who has a very unique,

gorgeous style that focuses on detail and lighting.
She was not only a last minute photographer, but a wonderful person to be around!
I found her through my engagement photographer, Andria Lindquist, who is just as amazing!
I actually fell in love with photography as a result of Tonhya and Andria, and
realized how beautiful things can be when you just pay attention to detail. 

Not only do I suggest brides out there to splurge on photography, but to 

pick someone who you believe in and can be friends with.

They will be part of the biggest day of your life, so you might as well 

love every picture they take!

You can visit Tonhya's photo blog at tonhyakaeblog.com
&
Andria's photo blog at andrialindquistblog.com

I won't be showing a ton of my pictures on the blog, but I will give you a sneak peak

at some of my favorites.

I also plan on making a photo collage on a wall in my house out of the pictures

which I will be featuring in the weeks to come! 

I am so excited about everything that I will be posting this year. 

I hope you stop by often! 

Much Love, At

Cheers to 2012

As the new year approaches, I begin to realize that 2011 was the beginning of a whole new life for me.

It is so easy to be discontent when we are in transition, when the fun is over, or when we want to "move on" in some way(like be done with school already). 

Because I believe in an all powerful God, unconditionally loving God, I believe there is purpose in everything I do. From homework, to making wedding decorations, to cooking with my husband, it's all part of the bigger picture. As I rang in the new year singing worship songs, I realized my life is going to be more than "the american dream". The only way to do that however, is to root my identity in Christ. I could look at my life and be discontent with so much, but I want more from this time of my life. I don't want to look back and think "I did nothing". I want this year to be filled with fulfillment.

Fulfillment of my school requirements.

Fulfillment of my new years goals.

Maybe fulfillment of God's calling for my life?

I have so many things I want to accomplish; go to Africa, build up my business, make my blog what I ppicture it looking like in my head, dominate school, either work part time staff with CRU or work for Anthropology, as well as join my churches worship team. We will see if any of these things happen, but I intend to make 2012 much much more than just a "transition period". 

2011 was so amazing. Although so much happened, it was very self focused. I am exhausted by my selfishness. I had the best New Years I have had in so long serving college students and hanging out in Portlandia. I realized how much I miss serving with CRU. The more I think about it, the more I realize I may be called to work for the ministry. CRU is the most amazing ministry to me, because it was the reason my college years were so full of life. Not to mention conference being where I met my husband. I am so excited for what God has for us this year, and for the first time in a long time, I sense big things coming.

So here's to knew beginnings, new music, books, crafts, recipes, adventures, pictures, lessons learned, and obstacles to conquer.

Cheers, to 2012.